The Haruspex of the Kaiila

The move to the better grass was difficult, due to the circumstances. I will commend Ayguili for having us ready, had he not done this I think our losses would be greater than what they were. I am fortunate that I was not injured and my losses were not as great as those of some others, but I was prepared.


Some might say that I am too independent, but that is simply how I am. It is a matter of pride with me, to be able to take care of myself and my children. That does not mean that I can do it all, that I do not have those that help. But it does mean, that I do not sit back and wait for others to take care of me, plain and simple. I engage. I am Tuchuk.


Even during the trek to new grass, the clan was busy. The night of the fire we had managed to get enough of the fence down to allow the kaiila to run free to save themselves. It is a natural instinct among them. They have this fiercely, strong sense of survival, and they are intelligent about it. From the moment a kaiila is born, it is on its' own. The mother does not nurse the young, they give birth and walk away. Some would look at this and consider it cruel. But, is it cruel to instill that strong sense of self-reliance at birth, in an environment where day to day life can be deadly? No, I think not. The weak just do not survive here. A kaiila is equipped at birth with what it needs to survive, so it simply becomes a question of strength of body and will.


I often watch Ciegue in amazement. I have no doubts that he was blind at birth on that one side. Or, let me say, physically blind. When you stop and think about it, the odds on him surviving are something that I could not even begin to think on. There he is new to the world, abandoned by his mother, as all kaiila are, and only seeing half of that world. Kaiila do not tolerate the weak. I have seen them attack and kill one of their own that that showed a weakness, it is their way of maybe keeping bloodlines strong. I can only wonder at that, his being able to survive.


But he did survive, and adjusted to life in a harsh environment. I think back to when I first saw him. He was not with a herd, but totally alone. I can remember looking across that cold stream, to see him standing there like a black enigma on that snowy bank, looking at me with that blue eye, regal, unapproachable. I was astounded. But not nearly as astounded as I was when he turned and seemed to focus that milky, blind eye on me, in a long gaze of assessment. I cannot even begin to count the number of times, I have watched him turn that blind eye on someone, almost as if it saw deeper than the surface, to a place that told more about them than what they presented to the world.


The beast is my friend. I would not even begin to say that I am his Mistress, or that I own or possess him. We came to an understanding long ago, that we have a destiny together. One of the very few disagreements that I have had with Fonce, was over the animal, but it was he, that told me that my destiny was intertwined with Ciegue, not his. I accept that as one of those spex things, of the knowledge they have that sets them apart from us.


I even muse at times, that Ciegue is the haruspex of the kaiila herd. Fonce and Ciegue are both my protectors, they have both saved my life. And, I know that they will both be there for me. Will they do everything for me? Skies, I hope not. I will be hurt and disappointed if they did. I don't think either of them would hamstring me in that fashion. I think they both realize how important the integrity of my independence is to me, and they will both honor that.


But, if either of them see me going down for the third time, whether it be physically, emotionally or mentally. I know, that all I have to do is reach out, and one or both of them will be there to pull me to safety. In fact, they may know that I need that connection, that pull to safety, before I do.


It's the spex thing.