I had been sitting at my wagons, playing the flute until the girls fell asleep. It was a quiet night, other than the occasional tone of voices of someone coming back, from finding a family member dead in the ruins of the fire. I tried to push them out of my head, but my heart ached for each and every one of them, and I will admit to a twinge of guilt that we were all safe.
I think, when I saw him step from the shadows, that I knew something was wrong, simply by the look on his face. He had come to crouch down beside me, his huge hand moving to gently brush over the heads of his sleeping nieces. He began to speak in a low voice, that was tinged with pain.
He told of what he had learned, and of the bravery and self-sacrifice of my nephew. The pain that stabbed through me, took my breath away and a sob rose in my throat, only to be captured there in a huge lump of emotion. Rook brought juneau over to pick up the girls and take them to bed, then sat down beside me, wrapping that familiar arm around me that has been my strength through so much.
Finally I cried. Not the heart wrenching sobs of loss, but quite tears of knowing that the one that had been a part of my life for so long, was now gone. I know that death is a part of life, and that I am not the only one to have lost something here. I immediately thought of Noya and the twins, and of how devastating this was for them. Those precious children that would grow up, not knowing truly, what a remarkable, kind, gentle man their father was. I hope that the time they had with him, will be indelibly stained into their hearts and memories.
Ayguili stayed, and after I calmed down, the three of us spoke of Trilok. It is good to see that others respect him as a man, and a warrior, and it is good to know that Ayguili has vowed to see that Noya and the children will be cared for. With a sigh of resignation, I asked if anyone had been sent to tell his parents, Ephrim and Anya. Ayguili admitted that he had not told them yet, and I said that I would. With a shake of his head, he said no, that it was his duty, and he would attend to it.
We came to an agreement, that we would both go. He said that Aslan was with Noya and the children, and I felt that I needed to be with my brother and his mate when the blow was delivered. We talked quietly on the walk in search of where their wagons were parked. About Trilock, and the loss of so many more. I could see that those broad shoulders were drooping from the responsibility of what had happened, and I tried to reassure him, that he had done a good job in saving the rest of us. I don't think right now, that is enough for him, but hopefully in time, it will be.
My arrival with the Ubar in tow, was the harbinger of bad news. Trilok was their only child. Anaya had great difficulty with his birth, and the healers had told them.....no more. And my brother, being the honorable man that he was, and having the love for the woman that he did, made sure it did not happen again. And they had been happy.
When I walked to place a hand on Ephrim's arm, he simply nodded, knowing before either Ayguili or I spoke. He knew. I think that is the way with parents who love their children, they just know. I stepped to Anya, put my arms around her an simply held her as she cried quietly. Ayguili stepped away with Ephrim, to probably give him what details he wanted. I know that he wanted to make sure that they knew Trilok had perished honorably, saving one of his men.
Ephrim finally came to take Anya away, to speak to her and try and comfort her. Word traveled quickly by the slaves, and soon the others were there. Hiram and Daris, Enos and Celeste, then Dorian with a young woman that I did not know, but got the impression that she was someone special to him. There will be time later for me to quiz him. Tears were shed, questions asked about Noya and the twins. I knew that over the next few days, my brothers and their mates would find her, and envelop her in the love that we all seem to share. I hope it brings her the comfort, that it has always brought me.
Working with Daris and Celeste, and the young woman, who I found out was Lauren, we put together a meal. It is a funny thing about our family and death, it always seems to be a time for food. It is just how we are. You may not have the appetite for it, but it is there. For one thing, women seem to combine their strengths and share their grief over it. Feeding the body, goes towards feeding the soul. The love that goes into the preparation, seems to reach out and place a warm hug over all those sharing the meal.
At one point, I think that Ayguili tried to slip away, but it was my brother Hiram that drew him back within the circle. I made sure that he had a plate, and sat beside him as he ate. And for once, he did not urge food on my, which was a good thing, because I am not sure it would have gotten past the lump in my throat.
Conversation turned to Trilok, and stories were told about him growing up. I saw these glimpses of memories, of what a pudgy little thing he was, with this stubborn set to his chin, or chins as it was back in those days. He was remembered with love and humor, as only a family can do. Even when the pain of loss seems to be so thick you cannot see through it, you still cannot help but remember smiles, toddling first steps, pranks played, then the ones you were the victim of. All fond memories.
When Ayguili did stand and prepare to get back to his duties, that was when Anya approached him, gave him a hug and whispered words into his hear. I will never breathe a word of this, but tears slowly slid down his cheek as he nodded, then gave his be wells and walked off into the darkness.
I sat there for a time, and wondered how many times he has had to do this over the last couple of days? How many times he has had to deliver the news of the loss of a loved one. I do not envy him his duty, but I will always respect him for the compassion and dignity he tries to do it with.
Farewell Trilok. I love you, I will miss you, and there is a place inside of me, that will always be empty without you.
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